"I.....what did I just do?"

Thoughts were running through the young man's mind, panting and clutching his chest at a crossroad. He feared the possibility of being imprisoned, what his mother was going to do. Would she turn him in?Keep quiet? Or hurt herself? She did love his father, no matter how horrible he seemed to get, no matter how much pain he was put through when his all mighty hand would come down upon her'.

He was horrified. He couldn't keep going on running-for now anyway. If he just walked around with nothing but pants and his wand, he thought to himself, people would surely think that he was a runaway....or homeless. It really didn't matter to him at the very moment. Turn back...or don't? What would be the smart decision, the wisest decision?

"I need to go back. I must....I'll just sneak in like I always do. Its not like I'm going to get into any more trouble than I am already in...right?" Severus thought to himself. He turned on his heel, and looked back with sorrow and humiliation brimming in his eyes. How could he lose himself like he did?

"I should be thrown into a cell to rot. I am no better than filth. I don't deserve to be allowed to be free. I did something very horrible, and deserve to be punished for it." His eyes began to sting, and he cursed himself for allowing himself to let his emotions get the best of him. "Dammit.....I don't understand why I turned out this way. Friendless.....I am just a waste of space, anyway, and no one would miss me if I am locked up for the rest of this horrible and painful life. What can I make of it, anyway? I am of no help to anyone.....completely and utterly worthless. I've heard it from that stupid Potter and his equally stupid lackeys." The teenager sighed, and looked down the dark abysmal street that led to what used to be his home.

"Okay....here goes nothing. Plunging deeper and deeper into the darkness I will no doubt succumb to......" He thought darkly, a harsh wind chilling his bones and blood. But he paid it no mind. He was going to get used to it....not that he already wasn't.....

Fear again began to settle in. He shivered, let out a gasp, and continued on. Quietly, as if they were out there to swoop down and gather him for committing such a horrible sin. But to his relief, as he reached the pretty red roses that were growing quite conveniently near his bedroom window.

Carefully, he grabbed one of the thorny vines, he climbed his way up through his window. Strangely, he wasn't harmed at all by the thorns...he wasn't pricked once, even though he thought they may. He was, after all, a very clumsy person. This nights events could point that out easily.

As always, his room was cold. But he didn't have time to care. He was here for only a few select things, and then he'd be gone once again into the night. A few fair garments, his broom, and the pretty doe charm Lily gave to him for his eleventh birthday. Throwing a glance at it longer than he had anticipated, he stuffed it into his pocket, hopped onto his broom, and was zooming off into the sky like a bat out of hell.

Over the trees, his childhood hide-out and park, Lily's home. He flew uncaring and cold through his town carefree. He just wanted to take it all in, calm his nerves. He needed to think about what he was going to do, what his plans would be. He almost wished he had said a good-bye to his mother, whom he had heard sobbing down the hall from his room in the bathroom. It pained him to hear her cry, as it always did. He wanted to take away her sorrow and pain, especially the pain he had given her. All of it. He'd do almost anything.....

"Farewell...for now...or forever....it doesn't matter anymore, I suppose." he whispered to no one. Then he laughed. " I really do talk to myself often. I should stop doing such things....ah...there I go again....."

It will be okay....it will be okay.....these words echoed in his head from when he was very small. His mother and father both....when they were getting along. So rare to think that Tobias was once a great man. But now.....

For now he doesn't want to dwell on that......